I'm in that in-between state, the one where the things I did to try to shape myself in the past are in the past and the things that will shape me in the future are, well, largely in the future.
This past week was a little slow. Business buying and selling guitars was spent waiting for buyers through the first part of last week. I spent some time being quiet and reading. The next five months or so will be a time of preparation. I started a book by worship pastor Brian Doerksen. One bit that I read today caught my attention because I feel that it is my story and God's challenge for me, right where I am at:
God is looking for purity. God is looking for our hearts. He will use our gifting and talents in the kingdom, but only if they are first tempered through the refining fire of God's holiness, only if we can lay down our gifts at His feet. He tells us when we are to pick them up again, if ever... Worship begins with what we are willing to surrender to God.
One reason I feel like this is where I am at is because I gave up most of the work I had playing guitar this past winter. God was clearly calling me out of some gigs on conviction reasons and then shutting doors on others that were not so clear. Sometimes I sit and feel like I am doing nothing, almost a guilty sense that I am just being lazy to not take on more of the gigs that come my way. But deeper than that, I know these gigs are not where God has called me.
The things I had previously used to gain approval in my own eyes or in other people's eyes are now things I have allowed to rest dormant for a season. I am looking forward to picking up my guitar more often and using the instrument specifically for God's purposes this coming spring when I begin working with the worship team in Ukraine. That's where I am at. That's where I am going. I thank God for the changes past, the changing present, and the changes to come.
No comments:
Post a Comment